COLLEGE!!!!

Okay ya'll this is truly one of those times in life where I just have to say... THIS IS ALL GOD!!! I don't even know how it happened. One day I was in a Bible Study, my first ever, in fact. It happened to be Beth Moore's The Patriarchs. I FELL IN LOVE. God sent such a hunger into my very soul... I just can't describe it any other way. I just couldn't stop wanting to know more and more and more and more!!! Its like a lightbulb went off in my head and all of the sudden stuff clicked. What used to be arcaic language and Shakespearan lethargy.....is now fluid and concise. The how art thou's MADE SENSE. Am I talking to anybody. In fact, if it didn't make sense, I wanted to go look it up somewhere else and then somewhere else and then realized. I want an education on this stuff.

Before I knew it, I was online surfing under Bible Study Education and wound up filling out a form for online Christian Education. I didn't think anything of it, just figured I would get a brochure or e-mail with information. Instead I got a barrage of phone calls and emails from this real live person that said.....we can get this funded for you. The persistence of this young man had to come from God. Any other time, the persistence would have ticked me off. This time, I don't know any other way to explain....DOORS JUST KEPT OPENING. For those you that have experienced weird phenomenon you can identify with this!!! I did not plan on going back to college.

I am an accomplished and experienced Real Estate Paralegal. I am beginning a home business with Prepaid Legal Services and LOVING IT and all of the sudden I am back in school.... HUH??? I am still puzzled at how this happened but smile at the mystery of my precious Father. HOW GREAT THOU ART!!!!

I am beginning to realize that paralegaling might not always be my career. I am also feeling the pull from the Holy Spirit to focus on THE WORD!!! It is not only for myself, but I am guessing He is about to reveal a higher purpose for me. I might add to Him FINALLY!!!!!! (Just kidding Lord... a little humor only!)

Anyway... my dear siestas, readers, friends and family PRAY FOR ME! I am almost 41. A single mother of 2 small children, barely making a living (actually not at all) and entering College. YIKES!

Thank you dearest Father for granting me the prayer of Wisdom. Gaining wisdom comes through knowledge and experience and you are offering me a chance for both. How awesome you are.

College....good grief.

THE GREAT CHURCH DILEMMA UPDATE (EATING HUMBLE PIE AGAIN!!!!)

A few posts back, I wrote about some difficulties in Church. Well... God, the Stepping Up Bible Study and the Pastor's wife got ahold of me yesterday and these are the results.

God spoke to me directly last night and touched on a few things that are hard to swallow. I know that if He chastises me He loves me!!! BOY DOES HE LOVE ME!!!!

FIRST - I need to get over myself and toughen my skin before He can do anything.

SECOND - I need to get over myself and forgive all the wrongs. Yep they were wrongs...but
I am compounding the wrongs by talking about them and letting them fester.

THIRD - I need to get over myself and remember...I am one of the picked-on, laughed at and
talked about. As such I should be more understanding of others and not pick on, talk about or laugh at anyone.

FOURTH - I need get over myself and get back to Church for protection from Satan who is
really working on me these days... (I expect something awesome anytime now...gotta hang in there!) Still gonna look for new church home but in the meantime.... I'll be in a pew.

FIFTH - THE WORD, PRAYER, BIBLE STUDY, SIESTAS, FRIENDSHIP, LAUGHTER are
pieces of armor to protect myself from Satan and his forces. I need to use them more.

SIXTH - God has perfect timing.... my timing is WAYYYY OFF! Pray for patience.

SEVENTH - SEED ENCOURAGEMENT.....ENCOURAGE EVERYONE!!! I know I sure need it very much and maybe if I give more, I'll get more myself.

I appreciate all of you that wrote back to me. I appreciate friendship most of all. I wish I had giant rubber arms to reach around and squeeze each and every one of you that I am meeting and who are reading my blog and identifying with me. It is such a huge thing to be understood and for people to ENCOURAGE you!

Last night's meeting was inspirational. I also am involving myself in the Summer Bible Study via emails with new friends in RI and NC and that is going to be great fun, but sadly I won't be able to enjoy any of the recipes (my kids are PICKYYYYYY). Wash the sauce off spaghetti o's picky!!! Its tough to love to cook and have noone to cook for.

I checked out Kelly Minter's website. It's adorable. I would love someone to teach me how to build a website. I am a graphic designer (from the old days and can design things but don't know how to get them on a site...CSS, HTML, blah blah (its all geek to me)! Anyone out there want to help a Siesta out I sure would appreciate it.

Love Ya'll!!! MARANATHA

TRUST IN GOD

I felt the need to jot this post based on a reading this morning in my devotional and yet another situation I am facing. It makes a tremendous amount of sense to me. Forgive me if I don't get it across right, but this is an AWAKENING from God. (I just love those special AWAKENINGS I know are meant for me at just the right time!) Here it is....

Jesus did not put any faith in man! He had faith in the Father who could do all things. Well DUH!!!!! You might think I am nuts, but honestly, it makes complete sense. Jesus loves us unconditionally because He knows we are incapable of perfection. We just can't do it and therefore we need HIM!!!! (Can't you see the lightbulb over my head!!!)

I have never been able to make friends easily. I usually feel misunderstood and can't stand confrontation. Most of my life I have been a victim in one way or the other. I try and be nice to everyone. Smile all the time. Laugh, even when I am hurt. (I get hurt a lot.) Time and again I wind up completely trusting something or someone and wind up in a HUGE MESS!!!

Recent example... I have been trying to start a website for quite some time. I diligently sought someone that could help since I can't even make my blog look good!!! (Any suggestions ladies..) I wanted to work with a Christian, someone that would understand my point of view. I had specific ideas. Well... this person sent me an email loaded with scripture and how he was the right person for the job. I tried my best to be completely upfront. I saved every document he sent me. I paid as requested (He set up a payment plan to help me with cost.) Doesn't this all seem perfect!!! WRONG.... I sent money, made all my payments and to this day all I have received are empty promises and insults about how I am unprofessional. I asked for a refund, got a scathingly insulting email. This is one of those people that can insult you and make you feel guilty and horrible and he is in the wrong!!!! You know the people I am talking about. The ones that confront you and get ugly and personal nasty and make a person feel bad or ugly. Make you think you have done something horrible (even when you haven't).

Well these type of people have had the power to make me feel guilty about EVERYTHING and I am sick to death of feeling guilty and powerless. I have been a walking doormat to0 long in my life and God gave me the answer today. (Its about time!!!!) Put your complete trust in God alone and know that people (whether they mean to or not) are not able to be completely trustworthy.

Now this is not to say that you shouldn't make friends, trust and love, quite the contrary. It frees you to do just that without the expectation of complete perfection. Am I making sense to anyone? I confuse myself sometimes, but I am just feeling so free right now.

Bottom line, rather than continue to email bash and get no where, I just turned it over to God. Through this post am making a reminder to pray to the Lord for everything, do the footwork and let Him sort the rest out.

What bothers me is that I am supposed to pray blessings on this guy and forgive and move on. I NEED A SCRIPTURE!! Any suggestions from the siestas... what do ya'll do when someone uses you, takes advantage, insults you and walks all over your good intentions!

Loving all of you and can't wait to hear your advice!!!

I just love God!!!! I can't say enough about reading the Word. Something new, some secret that unlocks the door to something better is just waiting for the grabbing. I love it! Praise God!

Love you siestas!

K